LATE BREAKING NEWS!!!

Garden Gnome DENTAL ATTACK!!!!!

The Garden Gnome Apocalypse may be starting in mouths!!!!  The first case of a Gnome attack in a person's mouth has been reported!!  The victim has required antibiotics, pain killers, and will undergo surgery in order to recover from the secret attack!!!  Purell your toothbrushes regularly!!  Garden Gnomes are thought to infect toothbrushes at night.  (See picture above).

This just in!

A GNOME HAS BEEN SPOTTED IN AN OFFICE!  INFILTRATION HAS STARTED!  MAN YOUR POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Place to Study Your Enemy

http://www.freewebs.com/gnomelaguardia/gardengnomefantasy.htm

Disney Does the Gnome Invasion

Even the animators at Disney know that Gnomes aren't the cute, innocent little lawn ornaments they'd like us to think they are http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIlzOxNETGc&feature=player_detailpage

Don't Stay Home Alone!

This just in . . . be careful when you're bathing, you never know what might be lurking just around the curtain!

Gnaughty Gnome Recipe:

1 oz Captain Morgan® Private Stock dark rum
4 oz Vernors® Original ginger soda
2 dashes Angostura® bitters

Pour the rum into an old-fashioned glass with ice. Fill with Vernors ginger soda, add a dash or two of bitters, and serve.
Read more: Naughty Gnome recipe http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink12096.html#ixzz1d9RYecc1

 

Gnow Your Enemy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Do not confuse a "Smurf" for a "Gnome"
Major Differences: smurfs are blue, generally happy, & wear white except for their leader, "Papa Smurf" who wears red.



Do not confuse an "Elf" for a "Gnome"
Major Differences: Always wear red or green, sometimes
stripped stockings, pointy shoes, pointy ears, work for
Santa Claus. 
NOTE: For those who believe in Santa Claus,
declaring war on an Elf could lead to the "Naughty" List even if it is in self-defense, or an honest mistake!

THE GNOME!!!  Usually stoic in appearance, outfit can be any color to "blend in"...usually wearing red, pointy hat, hands sometimes behind their back so as to hide weapons or appear innocent, or may be trying to appear "helpful" by holding a lantern (which can be used as a FIRE THROWER!) or by pusing a wheel barrel (to help clear bodies from the BATTLE FIELD)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not truse this "Good Samaritan" facade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gnome Trapping

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Defend-Your-Lawn-Against-Gnomes-Using-the-Dedicated-Gnome-Trap-97197.shtml

Gnomish

http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/articles/lawn-gnome-everyones-favorite-garden-kitsch

gnomish

Gnome Apocalypse-Survival tips on FB

Like the Gnome Apocalypse page on FB for updates on survival.

Tainted Beverages......

"Raise Your Glass" by Pink, just an innocent song by an artist or GARDEN GNOME FIELD MARCH?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David the Gome

Do you remember watching "David the Gnome"? This is a good example of a good gnome :o)
-Kelli Askew

Not about good luck

See this brief history of garden gnomes. Don't be fooled by the "good luck" stories!
http://www.gardengnomefromhell.com/hist.html

The best weapon is knowledge!

Once the book is read and memorized it should be shared to help build the army of warriors for survival...

Survival Guide

Don't Leave Home Without It! http://amzn.com/158008463X.  After extensive literature review, this is the best guide out there.